5 reasons to stop watching the A-League this week

What are we watching, the League Cup? Whoever heard of so many goals in a game of football. The last time I saw that many hit the back of the net I was fishing. With a trawler. 

You should stop watching the A-League. Hell, you should stop watching football completely after such a horrible weekend. Here's why.

1. Mark Bridge is the only one who can score
If Western Sydney Wanderers are relying on Bridge scoring all their goals they're in for a slaughtering this season. Actually scratch that, I'm sure there'll be some more own goals by opponent clubs.


2. Adelaide are totes inconsistent
Adelaide couldn't reproduce last year's performance against Roar where they scored early through Vidosic and then ended up conceding seven. The inconsistent so and so's even had the temerity to win the match. 

3. Monday night football is the pits
I don't give a rats that we get four days of football. I've got things to do. It interrupted my betting on losing horses and buying valueless lottery tickets. It's a poor man's ripoff of the NFL equivalent and should be axed. 

4. Not Australian enough
There are nowhere near enough drunken lunatics - sorry, larrikins - at the football. Melbourne Cup is like the most Aussie thing I know and there were a whopping 80 people thrown out for disorderly conduct. Forget flares, football fans, get some piss up ya. 

5. Can't stream it on iiNet Freeview
I watched the Australian Baseball League live on my computer last week. Legitimately. Sure, the picture was grainy, there was only one camera, the commentator was quite disorganised and I couldn't understand what was going on, but without pirating I got it for free on my laptop. Can't do that for the A-League, the backwards sport that it is.