Who the fuck are the A-League All-Stars?

What started off as an exciting and new concept has descended into something of a farce with the latest round of announcements for the team officially known as the "A-League All Stars".

Sadly that title couldn't be further than the truth and, thanks to more drop outs than your local Centrelink, the squad now includes players lucky enough not to be on holidays, on international duty or injured.

The 35-man shortlist, voted for by the public, seems to count for absolutely nothing at this stage and while steps have been taken to ensure the best players are involved in future games, the very first incarnation of the All Stars is underwhelming to say the least.

That said, we'll still watch it.

Here is The Football Sack's guide to those who didn't have their phone diverting to voicemail over the past few weeks and have made the All-Stars team:

Michael Beauchamp (Western Sydney Wanderers)
That haircut alone should have been reason enough to not include Beauchamp but he's in despite that and is probably one of the only fair inclusions after placing fifth in the public vote for defenders.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

Besart Berisha (Brisbane Roar)
The Angry Albanian has been a consistent scorer in the A-League over the past few seasons and is worthy of his spot. Fingers are firmly crossed that he can piss off Rio Ferdinand.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

Mark Bridge (Western Sydney Wanderers)
If, 12 months ago, someone said to you that Mark Bridge would have been an A-League All Star you would have justifiably laughed loudly. However, the striker was rejuvenated at Western Sydney and probably deserves his spot.
All-Star or No-Star? Still-Hard-To-Believe-The-Change-Star

Thomas Broich (Brisbane Roar)
It's been a good few years for Broich - two winning Grand Finals, a Johnny Warren Medal and, of course, a Joe Marston medal.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

Pedj Bojic (Sydney FC)
Along with Ivan Franjic, Bojic has probably been the most consistent right back in the league so is a fair selection in the squad. Good for a free kick or two.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

Nigel Boogaard (Adelaide United)
The biggest head scratcher of the lot so far, Boogaard must be the token Adelaide inclusion.
All-Star or No-Star? No-Star

Connor Chapman (Newcastle Jets)
Another inclusion to make sure each team is represented, 18 year old Chapman only started 15 games for the Jets last season. A promising talent, no doubt, but not an 'All Star'.
All-Star or No-Star? No-Star

Ante Covic (Western Sydney Wanderers)
Covic, at the ripe old age of 38, is the elder statesman of the squad and played a key role in Western Sydney's surprisingly excellent debut season. His selection though is a direct benefit from Mat Ryan's move to Belgium.
All-Star or No-Star? No-Mat-Ryan-Star

Billy Celeski (Melbourne Victory)
"It's not what you know, it's who you know", and Billy Celeski is definitely reaping the benefits of playing under Ange Postecoglou at Victory.
All-Star or No-Star? No-Star

Brett Emerton (Sydney FC)
Revealed as part of the initial player announcements, Emerton's selection was the first to raise some alarm bells. The former Socceroo however does have copious experience playing opposite EPL heavyweights Manchester United, so his selection could prove key.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star-In-Name-Only

Rhyan Grant (Sydney FC)
Rhyan Grant? Really?! Well, actually, yes. Once you get over the initial shock at seeing his name on the list, think back to last season when Grant actually performed very well for Sydney FC. It's unlikely that he received many votes outside of his own club's fans but at this stage that counts for nothing.
All-Star or No-Star? Surprising-Star

Youssouf Hersi (Western Sydney Wanderers)
Prone to a brain fart or two, the flying winger is a good bet to at least pick up a yellow card in the game, friendly or no friendly.
All-Star or No-Star? Will-Probably-Get-A-Red-Star

Paul Ifill (Wellington Phoenix)
It was either him or Andrew Durante wasn't it?
All-Star or No-Star? Nix-Star

Michael McGlinchey (Central Coast Mariners)
The Kiwi is another who deserves his place in the team having been one of the Mariners' best last season. If you didn't vote for him then shame on you.
All-Star or No-Star? The-All-Star

Liam Miller (Brisbane Roar)
A former Manchester United player, Miller will be relishing a game against his former club. There's no doubting the Irishman's ability but his performances last season for Perth Glory were below par for the most part.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

Josh Rose (Central Coast Mariners)
Criminally overlooked for the Socceroos given some of the duds that have filled in at left back under Holger, Rose finally gets a chance on a big stage and is fully deserving of it.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

Josh Risdon (Perth Glory)
Another of the youngsters, Risdon loves a tackle and given he's a self confessed Liverpool fan, there's every chance he will try kick lumps out of one or two United players. For that reason alone, his inclusion is acceptable.
All-Star or No-Star? Rising-Star

Michael Theo (Brisbane Roar)
Bumped up the list thanks to Mat Ryan's departure and Eugene Galekovic's involvement with the Socceroos, Theo is an ok inclusion.
All-Star or No-Star? Meh-Star

Nikolai Topor-Stanley (Western Sydney Wanderers)
The other Wanderers centre back topped the voting for defenders and had an excellent season so is a justified selection. It only took about five years.
All-Star or No-Star? All-Star

David Williams (Melbourne Heart)
Another token inclusion, Williams did nothing on the pitch to the garner votes so has to make do with being the best of a bad lot at Heart.
All-Star or No-Star? No-Star