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Football Game of Thrones

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

What a dramatic day it has been. The summation? Australian billionaires are at war with eachother. Lowy, Palmer, Tinkler - football is being used as the battleground in an epic struggle for power. Footballers and their fans are pawns with which these heavyweights play, and it's a game The Football Sack is deeming the 'Football Game of Thrones'. We've put together a run down of the various parties involved, their goal, and motto.

House of Stark Contrast

Today's valiant stand from Football Federation Australia CEO boss Ben Buckley was in stark contrast to vast public perception of the game's head man. Aging figurehead Frank Lowy runs this household, and it is them that currently control the football game of thrones. A firm refusal to accept the legality of Hunter Sports Group's decision to hand back their A-League license is exactly the leadership football in Australia needs. Buckley, after years of inaction and mismanagement, could be finally ready to fight for the A-League and claim the throne that is rightfully his.

Goal: A ten team league for 2012/13
Motto: We are Football

House of 'Hit-his-head-on-the-stair' Bannister

There can be no other explanation for the actions of this house. Ex-owner of Gold Coast United Clive Palmer leads Football Australia, a rogue body seeking to expose corruption through an inquiry into the state of the game. Combining with former House of Stark Contrast man Archie Fraser this house surely hit their head on the stair bannister as kids if they think they can gain the ascendancy in the football game of thrones.

Goal: To position helicopters above all A-League grounds.
Motto: A Bannister never repays his debts


House of Wratheon

This house created a frenzy today in announcing they no longer wish to fund Newcastle Jets. Hunter Sports Group have played their hand, and it is one of wrath. Angered by an initial exorbitant tribute paid to House of Stark Contrast, coupled with miscommunication (quite probably the fault of carrier-crows), the Wratheons no longer want to be a part of the football game of thrones. The legality of their disloyalty will come into question in the courts.

Goal: Get out while we still can
Motto: We still love football you guyz


Beyond the Wall

Outside the kingdom unknown forces are at work. Monstrous football codes lie waiting to bask in glorious victory when the A-League houses finally tear each-other apart. The only thing between us and them is the wall of community support the league has. Participation numbers far outweigh any other code, and the introduction of a western Sydney franchise is seen by many as a frontier that must be conquered. The east watch whilst our sworn brothers in the west seek to defend the heartland from their outpost at Castle Blacktown.


Football fans beware. Winter is coming.