5 reasons to stop watching the A-League this week

Like a Boss...chaart.

Some guy called Phil liked the A-League this week. So what. I was at that Sydney derby and there was at least 50 seats spare. Plus I couldn't get reception at the ground. Sell out? More like cellphone out.

You should stop watching the A-League. Hell, you should stop watching football completely after such a horrible weekend. Here's why.

 1. Bosschaart still hasn't returned. 
It's been a year since Brisbane Roar struck back and won the A-League for a second year running and Pascal Bosschaart still hasn't returned to save the Sky Blue from these DeathStar-building numptees.

2. Three derby games and no red cards. 
Bring back the biff. Where's our Johns brothers? Where's our scandal? Why is the A-League so fucking family friendly? 

3. Melbourne Victory beat Adelaide 2-1.
Now that's just unrealistic. I call WWE style storytelling. As real as a punch from Bret Hart.

4. Phoenix might still win the league 
They came close against Brissy and are showing signs of bringing the universe to it's knees by winning the league. All of Australia are scared of our whale impersonating friends who have a strange affinity for beaches. We will take you on the beaches, Wellington. Our beaches. Yeah, I dunno either.

5. Ono cam. 
I tried to replicate this high quality TV at home midweek but only came up with Omo cam. Dirt is good, but I got a little dizzy watching the washing machine do its thang. I blame the A-League for my resultant fall and lump on my forehead.