5 reasons to stop watching the A-League this week

The rumors are flying around - Becks was in Sydney this past week. Playing at Harvest. Sorry, that was who? Oh. The drink? Oh. Never heard of him. Can he bend anything?

Crowd averages are going down by the week, we're no longer the 14th most supported competition in the world. Get him here, quick.
 
You should stop watching the A-League. Hell, you should stop watching football completely after such a horrible weekend. Here's why. 

1. Nabbout can't bend it like Beckham.
Andrew Nabbout is unable to bend a ball exactly like David can. Plus I'm pretty sure that one against Sydney was a toe poke.

2. It's not even $160 million like they said.
In actual fact it's really only $148m with twelve million in marketing "support". What is this expensive support and how do we get Jason Culina one for his knee?

3. Gallop ain't been doin' nuffink.
He's been in the job what, like a week now? David says he has a lot of listening to do but it sounds very similar to Clive Palmer's FA and their "Listening Tour" which turned out to be a guy in a tracksuit taking shorthand in various pubs around the country.

4. Dodgy moustaches are dodgy.
Is there a way to raise money for men's health awareness without having to bare witness to these dirty face extensions? Leave them to the cider quaffing hipster types. Like me. Perhaps if we donate enough they'll shave them.

5. The Walking Dead is on. 
Like, for reals. If I'm going to watch ten players walking slowly around a pitch as is the case of Sydney FC then I'm better off seeing some zombie killings while I'm at it. Although, saying that, Del Piero is probably extremely close to wielding a cricket bat and unleashing some ruckus on his fellow teammates.