Tuesday Teabag: Life in plastic, it's fantastic

Fellow Sackers, there is a plague in our competition that has been allowed to continue for far too long. It's not sokkah hooliganz, it's not Diogo Ferreira's hairstyle and it's not Kevin Muscat in general; this plague has been around since the beginning of (A-League) time.

Since the inception of the competition in 2004, many teams have come and some have gone, as have coaches and players alike. However, amidst the rapid improvements in ground availability and player capabilities, the goddamn bastard plastic chairs used for the bench on the sidelines still exists.

That's right, a competition that has been around for over a decade and recently received a financial boost due to a new TV rights deal still only provides the same comfort found in crack dens all over the globe.

So maybe saying that it's a plague is a little over the top, but it is still kind of embarrassing at the same time and sadly, it's not a new issue - $10 Bunnings chairs are as common in the A-League as missed chances provided by Brisbane Roar's Henrique.

It's fantastic that the A-League has been able to attract international names such as Alessandro Del Piero and William Gallas. It's not fantastic that players of their caliber are directed to put on a bib and sit on a chair that looks like it was stolen from an Italian grandmother's garden party.

It was only recently that Sydney FC head coach Frank Farina was showered in an overpriced mid-strength beer during a poor Sydney performance at Allianz Stadium. As a result, Farina took the chance to have a dig at the current poor benches and called for dugouts as a means of providing better security to staff and players.

An A-League team received a one-day reprieve when Melbourne Victory got to experience the sheer comfort that was a portable sheltered bench when it faced Muangthong United in an Asian Champions League qualifier. We can only dream of such futuristic comfort in the A-League.

So what is the solution? Do we protest against the powers that control the bench budget? Do we call on the hooliganz to invade pitches and burn all plastic chairs in sight?

If you take a look at all the major European clubs, they provide the very best for their players and staff on the sidelines with swanky seats that look like they have been torn out of a Ferrari. Considering one of these seats would probably cover Del Piero's contract and most Australian football stadiums aren't solely designed for football, this really isn't a viable option.

Although Farina's suggestion of dugouts is probably the best solution, it would mean a few rows at grounds being given up as a result, as the dugouts would obstruct the view of fans. However, it really is a small price to pay in order to not look as though club staff are sitting down with a cup of tea in the garden to read the newspaper, or in Mike Mulvey's case, do a crossword.

No matter the solution, something's got to be done. It may only seem like a minor problem but this issue has been raised countless times since the beginning of the competition. It can't be encouraging for players considering the A-League as their new home knowing that they will have to sit around on the same structure found chained to a support beams out the front of barren country town milk bars.

For the love of buggery, something needs to be done about the damn plastic chairs, preferably sooner rather than later. "Won't somebody please think of the children?"